My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
