Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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