I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
