Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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