At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
