the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
