did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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