I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
