dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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