I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
