then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
