he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We're too hungover to prance.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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