the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
