she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
