So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize