Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
only you would photoshop your dick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
