I wanna bring you to show and tell
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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