Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
