Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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