Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
