Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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