So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize