She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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