I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
