Banned from zoo.
Again?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
