i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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