Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize