so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
