I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
