you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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