I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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