Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize