i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
