idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
