I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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