In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
