bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
