If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
