Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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