matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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