i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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