My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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