Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
