in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize