the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
