kristin has been a bad kristin
he puts the penis in happiness.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
