If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm sobbing to NWA
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
