Sacagawea was the original milf.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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