just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
