Sponge bath it is.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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