Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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