It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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