I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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