why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
