He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
did i just pee glitter
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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