My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize