Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
