so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
