I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
