This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
