This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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