will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
