All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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