I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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