Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
