I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
