you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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