You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
