He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
