Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
