I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
